Do you remember when the first generation of the Iphones first came out? Touch screen – OMG. I remember teaching the “older crowd” about the new revolutionary devices and seeing their faces show their exasperation. “These kids have way too many unnecessary devices!” I was that kid – you were too! Our generation made things that only existed in dreams or movies. We started Facebook, we got addicted to Twitter, and even forgone real life dating for an app. I mean we did amazing and ridiculous things!
However, time tends to always get in the way. Social media has taken over the world. We’re now in our mid to late 20’s and during that progression of time, more apps were invented apparently. Apps we’ve never heard of! I mean what in Jesus’ name is Meerkat? I barely understand SnapChat and then they came up with something even more complicated? Could you maybe slow down? Give us time to breathe, goddamn!
Teenagers these days are diversifying their social media consumption and apparently they’re hiding it from us! First of all, how in the world do they manage to pay attention to 15 social media apps? I have 3…and it’s already overwhelming! I saw my younger cousin typing up a storm on an app called KiK. I asked her what she’s doing and she gave me the same exasperated look and told me that it’s a free messaging app…free! Do you remember working at some retail shop during college to pay for your mountain high phone bill – because our parents never bundled our cellphone to teach us the value of hard work and earning money? BUT NOW…it’s free! What the real holy mother is this?! It’s not fair!
I got fed up. I decided to research the apps “the kids” are using these days because I am from an awesome generation, goddamnit! My research gave me two conclusions: 1) You don’t ever have to pay for anything anymore. 2) I feel fuckin old.
There are things now called Self-Destructing apps.
Back in the day, some young naive kids probably wrote things they didn’t intend for anyone else to read..or maybe took photos they wouldn’t want their grandparents to see. I guess those kids grew up and learned how to code because we have so many self-destructing applications. The main purpose of these apps is to let the user send files that would automatically disappear – yay! Thanks for making sending genital pics easier/safer.
SnapChat – You send photos/video that disappears after a few seconds. I still don’t get the appeal but I guess if you’re focused on sending that selfie – g’head’. 3 seconds is pretty quick though but they said always leave them wanting more?
Burn Note – The Mean Girls shoulda used this instead of the Burn Book – they would have avoided all those catastrophes. Basically, users can send messages that can be erased after a set period of time. You can’t send pics though but is sexting still a thing?
Whisper – Ok so you can anonymously spill your dirty secrets to the internet now. Each whisper comes with an image – great for the emotional teens. But I heard that most whispers are sexual…I heard. And if you find someone with the similar confession as you, you can actually suggest to meet up. This sounds like the plot to a horror story…one I probably wouldn’t mind watching. Wait, is that a Whisper?
Yik Yak – Now this app is something I totally would have used in college! Here’s the low-down: the kiddos can post up to 500 characters, and reveals your location! Users can see what everyone is saying in a 1.5 mile radius. Think of all the possibilities: last minute pizza parties, pop quiz rumours, maybe a live commentary during a The Hills episode – everyone has their own opinion of LC. Though I’d like to think that 17 year old me would use this for good, obviously – I heard this app is being used for explicit sexual content and cyber bullying so be careful.
Chatting and Dating apps – that is not Tinder.
Skout – It’s marketed as a “flirting app”. Where were those when I was a teenager? Basically, users can sign up as teens or adults and they are grouped according to age group. You can post to a feed or comment on photos and get notifications if someone cute is nearby. This is great and I’m sure works great since everyone on the internet is really honest about their age and gender and everything else.
Meet Me – I guess sometimes if you’re bored on a Wednesday night, you can just log on and meet a stranger online. It seems like the thing to do nowadays. This app is great for meeting randos around your area. Also maybe bring pepper spray with you.
Sharing is Caring. Video Sharing apps.
Vine – I get this now. I keep seeing Vines everywhere and they’re mostly funny. If you’re not familiar, basically its a video-sharing app that lets you film separate moments and edit them together. Each Vine is usually only a few seconds long and can be embedded on any website or shared on Twitter. Little videographers in the making. Cute.
Meerkat – Honestly, I was really confused and frustrated because I don’t want to see a live stream of someone eating a bagel. I get it, carb is love. But I came around when I discovered that this app can be used to live stream anything. Think of all the possibilities! Fashion shows, paid live streams, etc. This app can be great for blogging and probably also for explicit sexual content. I guess anything can be used for that. I give up.
BUILD THIS APPS PLEASE!
1. An app where I can search for specific items of clothing (colour, material, price point, etc.) and generate results from stores nearby.
2. Please build an app that let’s you find the drink specials in the city – Drink Owl was great but it died last year 🙁
3. I dream a dream where I can use an app to find out what to get a loved one on their birthday/Christmas/whatever. We have Amazon wishlist but we need a more accessible platform similar to Facebook where you can search the person and just see what in god’s name is on their list!
4. An Uber for private planes? It would be nice to not have to drive 3 hours up to Muskoka.
Programmers are totally changing the world and according to Paris Hilton, “That’s hot”. Keep loving. Keep Coding. Also if you don’t know what HTML stands for, see below.